Motivation is...nonexistent.

Hey everyone.

Unfortunately, I have really let my motivation/passion to get this weight lost just go out the window. I was on Christmas break from school for the past three weeks and did nothing...although the week of finals I got really sick and had to go to the ER, so I kinda deserved the resting/recharging time...right? 

[I'm fine now it was a mix of having the stomach flu that I caught from a fellow student and the lining of my stomach being irritated from taking pain medicine too often, along with not very much sleep, stress, pushing myself too hard, etc. It was really scary - TMI but I was vomiting profusely with extreme cramps in my abdomen that contracted my diaphragm so I couldn't breathe. I never really get sick at all other than colds or normal "sicknesses" like that so it was really terrifying for me to have to go to the ER.]

I haven't gained anything I am just maintaining, but I just wish I had the drive to do this. I want it really badly, but yet...just can't bring myself to do it. School is taking a lot out of me and I am exhausted when I get home (that's my excuse I suppose). I will be buying an exercise bike shortly because I figure it won't take a lot of effort to plop my ass on a bike and pedal away while watching tv/studying! haha. 

I DO want this. I don't want to be unhealthy. I don't want to look bad in my old clothes. I've never, ever had a flat stomach and I would love that...but all that work - I guess I'm scared that I will get really far like last time and something will happen that I gain it all back again. I can't handle putting in all that extreme effort on top of the crazy stress school brings to have it not stick. My disease really sucks sometimes, and that's always in the back of my head.  

I will hopefully be seeing my best friend and will have a heart to heart with her - she's a personal trainer so hopefully she can help me restart my fire, I want a good chunk of this weight gone by the time I graduate, and definitely the majority of it gone by September - it will be Andrew and I's 5 year anniversary this year. I just can't believe time has flown by this quickly. 


I will try to get on here more often to update, I know I'm awful about this ha. 


Until then!
Nykkie

I'm doing this for...also vain reasons.

Good morning everyone. 
I have decided to tackle the TurboFire 5 day Inferno plan. Just got done with Fire 55EZ. Whew! I don't know why I ever strayed away from this though. The feeling I get from it...it's almost indescribable but it's amazing, I feel inspired and am reminded that I CAN DO THIS! 

For more I'm doing this for...'s:

I'm doing this for cute underwear. Victoria's Secret shopping spree after I hit my goal weight anyone?!

I'm doing this for bikinis. Self explanatory, I just wanna be able to wear them and not worry about a damn thing.  

I'm doing this for fashion. For skinny jeans and leggings and tight shirts, crop tops (if I feel the need), backless numbers and short tight dresses!!

I am doing this for great skin. Working out gives you such an amazing glow that nothing else can duplicate.

I am doing this for confidence. Nothing makes you more confident than knowing "I look HOT!" 

I am doing this for second looks. I want people to be jealous of MY body for once! I want people to think damn, that girl is in shape. I want to aspire to be HER. 

I am doing this to fit in with all the skinny girls at school. I am sandwiched in-between two gorgeous skinny girls and I want to blend in :)

I am doing this for better opportunities. The better I look, the better I feel, the more beautiful I become -- who wouldn't want to hire me? Or be around me. I'm going into dental assisting, so it's important that I project these things!

I am doing this...to prove to every person that told me I couldn't that I can. For every person that called me fat to see that I can change that, and I come out the better person because they can't change their hate. 

I am doing this to rise above it all and be the best I can be.


1 day down, 4 to go!
Nykkie

I'm doing this for...

I know, I know, I always post an "it's been awhile" post and then disappear again. 

I'm still plugging away. I am in school fulltime now and it is amazing, yet extremely exhausting. I am trying to get exercise and healthy eating in, but it is a balance act I have not yet mastered. 

I wanted to write down the reasons why I want to do this and hopefully to re-spark my passion.

I am doing this for my lungs. They get stronger after every hard workout after I push them to their very limit. 

I am doing this for my feet. They are so tiny and bear all of my weight without little complaint.

I am doing this for my skin. It has stretched and broken but still guarded my body. It deserves to be flat and tight. 

I am doing this for my face. It has beautiful bones and deserves to have them highlighted. 

I am doing this for my body. It has never failed me although I feed it crap sometimes. It deserves nutritionally rich foods.

I am doing this for my muscles. They work hard and deserve to be seen, not hidden under layers of fat. 

I am doing this for my mind. It is so clear and peaceful after I treat it to a workout.  It also has other things to worry about, other than "do I look fat?"

 I am doing this for my soul. I feel so connected to my body after I workout and feed it good nutrition. 

I am doing this...for me.

Progress Pictures!!

I just found some pictures that my hubby took for me last Saturday! They are the most up to date pictures that I have :)

 The shorts that I am wearing had extreme muffin top when I bought them, I could barely get them hooked. I bought them in anticipation of summer and now they fit like a glove! I will be able to wear my really tight shirts with those shorts very soon. 

I thought I'd include a cute picture of me and my hubby too! We are loving the summertime....I wish it could stay like this yearlong! 

18 pounds down!

Woo hoo!

This week I finally lost another pound after gosh about three weeks of not losing. I knew that I wasn't on a plateau because I noticed that earlier in the week that BAM, seemingly overnight that my clothes were fitting so much better!

The pictures below were taken a few weeks ago so I am a bit smaller, but I wanted to show how dramatic 17 (at the time) pounds can look! A little background: at my biggest, the green pants were almost too tight, and the grey tank top was way too tight to get on. 

 
Please excuse the mess...my dang cats decided to wreck havoc on the house while I was taking these pictures! Ha ha. 

I just wanted to share with you guys my good news! 

Stay healthy (and beautiful)!
Nykkie <3

Wow! It's been a long time.

Hello!
I thought it was time for an update. A lot has happened since December!
I got into Dental Assisting and took a few classes last semester. I start full-time this fall and am so excited!

I have finally figured out a combination calorie-counting wise that lets me lose weight. I was stuck at 5 pounds lost FOREVER and finally went to the doctor about it. I had read that women with PCOS need a ton less calories than women that don't, and she confirmed that and advised me to eat 1200-1500 calories a day. I had been doing 1300 with no luck, so I bumped down to 1200. It worked immediately and I dropped 4 pounds in one week! I have since lost 17.
I don't really calorie count anymore because it got a little unhealthy...I would map out my day while I was eating breakfast or a little after and would exhaust myself trying to get the perfect ratios of everything. Then, if something that I planned didn't go the way that I had wanted it, I would pretty much freak out. It was getting to be an obsession, so I stopped. I get on MFP every once in awhile and log just to make sure I'm still averaging 1200 calories, but other than that I have pretty much lost this 17 without counting one single calorie!

As far as exercise, I have been a total slacker. =/
I am in my second week of a Turbo Fire/ChaLEAN extreme hybrid and love it! I am determined to be no more than 15 pounds over my highest healthy weight for my height by early October. I have to have a physical done for Dental Assisting and want to be as healthy as I can be, and scrubs really aren't that flattering with a flabby tummy! ha ha. My hybrid will end the week of Oct. 15th so this is absolutely perfect.

I think that's really about all for my update, I will try to post here more often <3
By the way, I have started a beauty blog - link is http://nykkiez.blogspot.com , so be sure to follow me on there too!

Lots of love,
Nykkie

It's been awhile.

I know it's been awhile since my last post. I think after Labor Day was when we started having computer problems and then Dad passed away on the 28th...

I've had one hell of a year. Lost my job in March, gained all weight back that I lost in '09, was diagnosed with PCOS in August, Dad passed, got a horrible teacher for speech, I found out my sister was cheating on her husband for three years and was lying to us about everything about her, even down to her jean size.

But guess what? We've survived it all! I have learned to appreciate EVERY good thing in my life, no matter how little. I'm back on track fitness wise, lost 5 pounds so far, and while that certainly isn't where I want to be, it's a small step away from where I'd never want to go back to.

I'm going back to school which is a great thing. I'm planning to become a Dental Assistant and I am very excited. Well, if they let me in the program, that is, I have to hear back from the lady that runs it still. We'll see, but even if I don't get into it this year, I will more than likely still do it.

I'm very thankful for my wonderful husband, my sweet kitties, and the parts of my family that are closer to me than ever before. We all miss Dad a ton, but after 3 years of suffering, he is finally in a better place.

I think that's all for now - gonna go have breakfast with Andrew. :)
I promise I'll post more often now!