I am just so frustrated right now.
My weight is out of control and I am just completely unhappy with my body. Just yesterday I discovered that my stretch marks, once contained to my stomach, have moved to my thigh. They are faint, but it is still really saddening to see that they are there, and the fact that they are there forever unless I do laser therapy.
I am feeling better on Metformin as of now but come Monday I up my dosage again (the last time, hooray!) so I will feel like crap for another week, the week of my hubby and I's 3 year anniversary. Bummer. Maybe that's why I am so bummed right now, last year I was able to wear a bikini and feel proud of where I was, now I wouldn't even be caught in a one-piece.
Sometimes I feel like I'm going nowhere with my life. I just decided to go back to school to be a dental assistant and it looks like that will take longer than I had hoped: I have to take 3 classes prior to qualifying for the dental assisting program and 2/3 classes were full this semester. I was hoping to start the program in January (it's 11 months long) but I probably won't get into it until Fall or the next spring after that. The reason I wanted to get done so quickly is because my husband and I are planning on moving to Colorado in a few years, and I wanted to have the degree and some experience under my belt prior to moving. That pushes things back at least a year, maybe two. The town that we live in has nothing to offer for us although all of our family lives here. We'd like to start a family someday (although that will be a bitch too, with my damn PCOS) and I want him/her to have the best opportunities I could give them, and this town won't give them anything.
I am probably going to start ChaLEAN Extreme come Monday if I feel okay. We'll see about that, I usually feel ok in the mornings...I am hoping that I can get results semi-fast and I am able to lose weight like a normal person. 1-2 pounds a week would make me so happy!
That's enough of my rambling for today :)
Good night!
Aw, honey. :( I know what it feels like to be stuck!!! I'm 21 and just now a freshman in college just because I had to work a full-time job to support myself and couldn't start classes until now. Took somebody being let go to get here but I'll take it. I could only get into one course because my job is changing and kids who are wayy younger than me will graduate before me. It sucks and I definitely know what it's like being in a dead end town!! Just think about why you're here...why you're being held back... something amazing could happen because you're being pushed back. Or think. Maybe if you were able to go when you originally planned, something horrible would have happened. And you avoided it.
ReplyDeleteThank you Arielle - I really needed that. I'm also 21 and worked full-time to help support Andrew and I after we got married, and my dad got sick so my parents couldn't afford to put me through school as originally planned, sounds like we have a lot in common! I just need to take a few deep breaths, and remember that everything DOES happen for a reason.
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